Key To My Life

         “ I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them .” ― Oscar Wilde,  The    Picture of Dorian Gray # Waking up is the hardest part. The moment I am awake, I can feel the pain radiate from my heart through my every cell. It is as though my heart is made of glass and is shattered and the pieces of glass have entered all the cells in my body through the blood stream.   You’d think you’d get used to it, and that the pain will go away slowly but it's now almost a habit. The deposits of all the feelings have now curated, in my heart, this dense, heavy pearl of sorrow that I am practically nurturing. The breeze from the fan slowly settles and arranges the thoughts in my cluttered mind like a stack of papers. In the past 4 weeks, I have found it terribly hard to get myself out of bed. This is it. I have decided to put an end to this. I don’t want to fall hopelessly in love ...

A part of a little something I had written a year ago: For some reason, she wept a lot that night. Came back home and wept her heart out. For not doing anything she wanted to do in life. For having done everything she had not wanted in life.. For having lost the one and only one self earned love in her life..For not having enough fun , for her folly of still waiting for that something which might toss her head over heels in ecstasy.. Yes, she has been ecstatic and happy but then, still, something is missing..Is it going to be death that she is waiting for? He stirred in the bed. He didn’t wake up as he was fast asleep after tucking Baby into bed. She realized that she was not going to sleep for the whole night. After the tears dried up for the time being, she got up from there, put some soft music and started browsing through the photos.. She went for his wedding today. Met some old friends. Most of them are abroad making money and having fun. He has found his woman for l...