“ I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them .” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray # Waking up is the hardest part. The moment I am awake, I can feel the pain radiate from my heart through my every cell. It is as though my heart is made of glass and is shattered and the pieces of glass have entered all the cells in my body through the blood stream. You’d think you’d get used to it, and that the pain will go away slowly but it's now almost a habit. The deposits of all the feelings have now curated, in my heart, this dense, heavy pearl of sorrow that I am practically nurturing. The breeze from the fan slowly settles and arranges the thoughts in my cluttered mind like a stack of papers. In the past 4 weeks, I have found it terribly hard to get myself out of bed. This is it. I have decided to put an end to this. I don’t want to fall hopelessly in love anymore. It’s just so damaging to one’s e