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Return to Love



Last weekend, we(me and my roomies) went out shopping. The four of us had set out to buy sarees to wear for our roomie's wedding. We all were on a shopping spree and bought many good things and got all that we wanted and much more, of course, and by the end of the day we were contented with the result of our great shopping day. We decided that good shopping is the most refreshin exercise and sport. Take home was about 10 covers of stuff and a slight heart ache for me.

No, you guessed it wrong.It was not my thin wallet that caused the heart ache. It was love. Sipping the bitter musambi juice at the end of the full day exercise, my mind was working on a lost love, a bittersweet feeling. Friends, towards the end of the shopping day, I fell in love and lost it before I realized it. The subject of my love: a very ethnic looking salwar suit. It was the perfect color combination of red and blue and had an "earth-look" ( can't define what I mean, sorry) to it and the most feminine kind of a dupatta. It looked like that piece of cloth which I had always wanted in my wardrobe. I knew I'd look good in it. I loved it but ended up not buying it.

It was an ordinary salwar suit by looks but the price conveyed something different. It just was not worth the amount, with respect to the grandness of the dress. Well, discouraged by my friends and owing to my fatigue to fight back combined with the hollowness of my bank account after a long shopping day and also due to the lack of time, I decided not to buy it. I declined my heart the pleasure coz my head said so. My heart wud not have felt heavy if I had not seen it at all.

Sitting in the auto on my way back, I said good bye to my lost love. And it got me thnking, the cold night wind blowing against my face tickled so many questions in me which I tried to answer. Once I get the taste of love, will I be able to forsake it with a light heart? I'd have been happy before it came but once it comes and goes, the void, the vacuum, would it not be enough to suck happiness out of my life? Is this what I'll do to my love if I ever find it? Will I not fight for winning my love, the love which I know is suited for me? Will I be discouraged by the whole world and my own head owing to such worldly reasons, even though I know that this was The One I had waited for, all along? Won't I ever change my priorities? Will I not attend to my heart ache? What would I be waiting for? Divine Intervention?
I did not get any answers to any of these questions. But when I reached home, I had decided that I am not going to wait for Divine Intervention but will manually go there myself and get the dress, the love for which taught me something. It is my head which decided to buy it realizing the worth of the dress not really in terms of money but in terms of its importance in my wardrobe. And it will be my head which would decide the real worth of my efforts in love in terms of his importance in my life. Yes, my head does listen to my heart. I can count on my head to serve me as the best filter by asking questions and finding out how desperately I want it and will eventually win back my love, if it is beyond some frivolous emotion brought about by the chemicals and hormones in my system.

And the next day morning, I called up the shopowner to tell him to keep my dress safe for me till I come and get it the next weekend.
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Comments

Anonymous said…
Hope you found your suit(love) and is safe inside your ward robe(heart) :-)
Saturday, 29 July, 2006
Anand K said…
Talk about "Hole in the heart"! :)
In this case it something that could be purchased and kept at limbo.... won't be the same when it comes to another person, eh?
Wednesday, 02 August, 2006
Anonymous said…
Hey... i shud have been there to encourage u ep! :)
i miss shopping with u guys...
Monday, 21 August, 2006
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