On Boredom.

Boredom :
The other day, I was travelling back home from office in the Wipro bus..Bus journeys to and from office are okay for me. On the way to office , I read something and coming back, I listen to radiocity. Listening to songs while travelling is one thing I just love and so the traffic is okay for me as long as Dorais plays me good music. But then, the same old ad breaks which are not as captivating as the songs or Dorais' voice and his "whippings" helped me fly off and wander across the meadows of my mind. I was just thinking of boredom. Thought quite a lot, felt like writing down, didn't have anything, so typed it into my cell. I had quite a bit of problems trying to archive it as my message memory was getting full.. Thought I can blog it all..and here I am sitting down to copy and paste it.
Well, copying is not happening..Its not fun..Well then, I shall put down the gist of what I was thinking..
You know what? no moment in life is similar to any other one.The moments just pass by, never to come back to you, whatever back up you depend on( in this case, my Nokia 6610 without eye), to restore the essence of the gone moment. What remains is a trace or a memory of the whiff of that gone fragrance.

So whatever is put down will only be a shadow of what I was thinking in the bus that day evening on my way back home when Radiocity and Dorais were not entertaining me well enough..Any loss in its shape or form compared to the original(which of course nobody will find out -I shall nevertheless put a disclaimer) should purely be accepted as inevitable.

I was thinking..
What is boredom? A kind of emptiness? Or a feeling of fullness? I am not sure. I have sometimes felt that I get bored very easily in a group of two- myself with another person's self. Somehow the conversation is so channelised that inputs are less..What is to be said, all pleasantries, seem to get exhausted and then there is a slight friction in the movement of things then on. Further conversation looks quite strained and the extra effort required to hide this strain makes it all look artificial, awkward and all wrong and leaves me wondering who I am trying to please afterall and above all, why the hell!! This does not happen always but the few times it has happened has left so bad a taste in my mouth to last long enough.. Like a switch has been turned off, I might feel the smooth flow of comfortable conversation cut off just like that. The fact is, I get bored with people easily.
Hmm, let me do a post mortem on this idea of mine. Yes, a post mortem 'cuz as I am thinking I can feel that the idea is dying, indeed. I realise that its my fear of getting bored coming in my way of smooth conversation and cutting it off. I am scared if it will prove my incapability of keeping the other interested in me.. Yes, this could be the reason, at least part of the reason. When a third person is involved, I realise that it's not my responsibility to keep up the fun in air and therefore my carefree mind gives it all. (A couple of my friends have told me that I am fun to be with :) wait, of course without me asking them !! I choose to believe them).
Well, its my fear of getting bored which comes in my way of lots of things which could turn out to be exciting if tried out.
Just searched to see what people think of boredom and came across this.
Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it: Bertrand Russell
Man, I could be a moralist. I could also be dangerous ...
Come to think of it in Bertrand Russell's terms, it really is something to think about..


Boredom is the price you pay for being intelligent.:)